Reflections on Purpose

I've always felt drawn to explore the subject of life purpose—maybe because, for so long, I felt like I was chasing mine and not finding it, while at the same time desperately wanting my life to feel meaningful instead of going through my days on autopilot until “it’s finally weekend.”

What follows is a small window into my journey. These are the myths I personally busted, and the very personal truth I’ve come to. But more than anything, I encourage you to find your own story.

I’m not here to teach you anything—just to share my experience. Because maybe, just maybe, it’ll help you feel a little less alone on the path to your own purpose.

My Story

When I was little, my grandmother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was maybe eight, we were walking along the canal in Venice, talking as we always did. I told her, “Nonna, I want to be a volunteer worker like the man who spoke in church the other day—I want to help the people in Africa like he does.”

I forgot that conversation. But my grandmother didn’t. She reminded me of it years later when I was a teenager. I smiled, but didn’t think much of it at the time.

Back then, and well into my twenties, all I cared about was studying, traveling, discovering the world, and learning about other cultures. (Spoiler: that was part of my purpose too.)

The first time I truly felt a loud calling was in Mexico. I was in Mexico City for an internship, and there, I was confronted with realities very different from the life I knew in Europe.

I struggled to accept the inequalities, the dangers, the conditions people faced daily. It was also the first time I witnessed real poverty with my own eyes.

Something inside me shifted. I remember thinking: All I want to do in this life is help—to try to make a difference.

Looking back, I realize my purpose was already calling me. That was the first nudge I felt on the path back to remembering.

First Myth: “You Discover Your Purpose”

It’s not a coincidence that in so many books and films, when a character hits a crisis and starts questioning their “miserable” life, there’s often a flashback to childhood—a time when they had a dream they later forgot or abandoned.

It’s not that when we are children we have it all figured out. It’s just that, at that age, we’re still in tune with our soul. The noise of societal expectations, fear, and mind clutter hasn’t taken over yet.

We don’t discover our life purpose. We remember it.

I believe our soul comes to Earth with a purpose. And then… we forget. That forgetting is not a mistake—it’s part of the process.

Our purpose is already inside us. We don’t need to go find it. We need to uncover it, liberate it, and bring it to the surface.

When Michelangelo spoke of carving his statues, he said the perfect form was already within the marble—his job was simply to remove the excess.

We have already been created with our purpose. The excess marble is all the stuff—beliefs, narratives, conditionings, expectations, fears—we acquire as we grow up.

Beneath that lies our true self.

Second Myth: “Your Job (or Your Success) is the Expression of Your Purpose”

We live in a world deeply disconnected from meaning in our daily work, so it’s understandable that many people seek to have their job reflect their purpose.

But this creates another false condition: our life purpose must turn into our career.

What if it’s not that?

What if it’s not profitable, not productive, not even “tangible”?

What if it’s more about “being” rather than “doing”?

What if it’s being a parent?

What if it’s your love for nature?

What if it’s something linked to your creative expression?

What if it’s simply the way you show up in the world and inspire others?

In the Western world, we often equate a life of purpose with a flashy, high-achieving, successful life—where success is defined by parameters that are external, measurable, and often completely arbitrary. 

If we don’t meet the success criteria—especially “on time”—we feel like failures.

If we believe purpose = success, then we assume failure = disconnection from purpose. 

Which couldn’t be further from the truth. 

(More on the crucial importance of failure and its intrinsic connection with purpose in a later paragraph)

There’s nothing wrong with success. But when we define, measure and validate purpose by it, we tie our identity to an outcome—one that’s fleeting, external, temporary. 

Maybe true success isn’t measured by the goals or milestones we achieve, but by how faithfully we live in alignment with our deeper purpose.

Third Myth: “Your Purpose is Your Passion (or ‘Your Thing’)”

I used to think having a life purpose meant finding “my thing.”

“Follow your passion.” “Follow your bliss.” That’s what everyone said.

And while that might work for some people, it didn’t help me when I was lost, stuck and confused.

I kept wondering: What is my passion? Why don’t I have a clear one? 

It was clear to me that I wasn’t like Mozart or some genius prodigy who knew their calling at age six! 

While I recognized that I had many interests, there was nothing I could define as “my ultimate bliss.”

Didn’t that mean none of them were my “true purpose”?

For a long time, I believed the narrative that life purpose was one big, obvious thing—a single, crystal-clear calling—something you just know.

And if you didn’t know it? You were missing something.

That belief kept me stuck. Disconnected from myself for a long time.

The pressure to have one singular passion, one defined purpose, is overwhelming, restrictive—and completely unrealistic for many of us.

The Timing Illusion & Comparison Trap

One of the greatest obstacles in the journey to purpose is timing—or rather, the illusion of it.

We feel perpetually late. We compare. We look around and think others our age have it more figured out —we assume they are living their lives with more clarity and alignment.

So we conclude we must not be.

That illusion ran deep in me too. And with it came shame.

The shame of not being resolved, of not fitting the image of someone who had “found their path yet.”

Instead of comparing myself to who I used to be and celebrating my progress, I kept comparing myself to others (easy to do in the era of social media!) and to my own ideals and expectations of what my life “should” have looked like. 

I was seeing my life through a lens of lack, rather than through the richness of all I had learned. That’s one of the surest ways to lose sight of my own unique path.

There’s a concept called spiritual economy that says your talents cannot be wasted. They will find expression, one way or another, in the balance of all things.

If they haven’t surfaced yet, maybe it’s just not the time.

Maybe it’s because you’re still learning. Still preparing.

But we live in a culture that doesn’t honor slow unfolding.

We want to be enlightened, accomplished, and resolved… quickly! 

But how is that even possible?

We treat our “life project” like everything else: we expect quick results—and when they don’t come, we assume we’re broken.

That’s where the sense of failure appears. That’s where the crisis begins.

For individuals and entire generations—especially Millennials.

The truth is: we need to live first.

To learn, unlearn, experiment…

That’s how we remember the project we came here with.

The Choice Paradox and The Tyranny of Exceptionalism

Mark Manson once wrote:

“Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give a fuck about anymore.”

Having so many options can overwhelm us. It scatters our energy and clouds our sense of direction. We suffer from constant FOMO—fear of missing out on the right or great opportunity—and in that restlessness, we disconnect from what’s essential.

The noise outside becomes louder than the voice within. 

Even when we choose, we are often afflicted by doubt: “Did I choose right?”

On top of that, we feel we have to be exceptional. Our culture today promotes the idea that we are all destined to do something extraordinary. 

But what if we let go of greatness and embraced mundanity instead?

It took me years to let go of that pressure—and to understand and own that being a mother is absolutely part of my life purpose.

Why is this essential life role so often diminished today?

Mark Manson explores this idea in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck.* Here’s how he puts it: 

“My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.”

So maybe, being a kind presence, a curious learner, a loving parent, or a generous listener is enough.

Purpose is More a WHY Than a WHAT

Simon Sinek says: “Very few people can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. By WHY, I mean your purpose, cause, or belief—WHY do you get out of bed in the morning? WHY should anyone care?”

Your values are the map to that why. 

When I wrote down my core values—Love, Nurturing, Learning, and Spirituality—things started to click. Suddenly, I could see how my purpose was intimately tied to them. 

I realized that my purpose had a lot to do with the energy I embodied and brought into the world, with the way I chose to live, and with the drive behind my actions.

Your purpose is your WHY.

Your values are your HOW. 

And when values turn into actions, your purpose comes alive.

Values aren’t fixed points.

They evolve—and so can the ways you express your purpose.

When I was younger, all I wanted was to live out of a suitcase and travel the world.

A few years later, I dreamed of opening a school in Africa, or helping women in underdeveloped countries through microcredit programs.

Then came the idea of running a cozy bed and breakfast—until that vision grew into something even bigger: a healing center, with a yoga shala and natural therapies at its heart.

Different dreams, different priorities across different seasons of my life—yet perhaps all were expressions of the same core purpose:

To bring more love into the world.

The way I do that—the how—has changed over time.

Today, I recognize two main expressions of my purpose:

Being a mother. And being in service through my work.

I bring love by being fully present with my child. By holding space for others. By guiding, listening, nurturing.

Your core purpose—your WHY—can stay constant.

But its expression—your HOW—will evolve.

And that’s not just okay—that’s life.

Life Purpose is Often Found in Crisis

Purpose often emerges from pain. When we hit rock bottom, it’s paradoxically easier to spot the lighthouse—our purpose—guiding us forward, because it’s the only thing left to see.

While watching sports shows with my son, I began to notice a pattern: nearly every contestant seemed to share the same origin story.

“I lost my father, and that grief pushed me to find something meaningful.”

“I had a terrible accident and nearly died—fighting for my life brought me here.”

“I came back from war destroyed, and exercise became my healing.”

That pattern is everywhere. I’ve seen it time and time again. 

People who live from purpose often have a moment of total breakdown before their breakthrough.

My story is no different.

Someone once told me, “If you feel like you don’t belong anywhere, you’ll end up helping others.”

I didn’t have a strong sense of belonging growing up — and for a long time, I wondered if that emptiness would ever lead to anything meaningful.

There was a time when I felt lost in every possible way. I didn’t fit professionally. I didn’t feel at home anywhere. I had no stable relationship—no anchor.

Then, during that same period, I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst for the second time and scheduled for surgery. When I woke up from the anesthesia, the doctor told me that while they had successfully removed the cyst, they also had to remove my entire left ovary. Extensive endometriosis was found as well, and with it, a warning: I might have difficulty conceiving.

I was in shock. More lost than ever.

And then—just a few months later—life surprised me in the most unexpected way.

I was pregnant with my first child.

Giving birth to my son became the most profound, transformative experience of my life. Nothing before or after has come close.

Motherhood cracked me open. It reconnected me to everything that felt true and essential.

And it quietly planted the seed for what would come next: the call to guide, to nurture, to help others find their own way home.

That’s how this path unfolded—one step at a time.

Life Purpose is Often Found Through Failure

Owning my story—and loving myself even when I didn’t have it all figured out, even when I kept on failing and falling apart—has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Loving ourselves in the mess, in the uncertainty, in the becoming… that’s the bravest thing we’ll ever do.

Mark Manson reminds us:

“Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you have failed at something.”

We are meant to struggle, to fall apart, to fail in order to grow.

Suffering cracks us open—until we arrive at our core. Until we come home to ourselves.

Purpose isn’t a lightning bolt. It’s a journey.

And that journey is often messy. It’s not linear, not straightforward, not certain, and yes—often painful.

As much as purpose has been romanticized in our culture, the reality looks very different.

Even when you remember your purpose, you haven’t “arrived.”

You will keep learning, failing, recalibrating, reshaping your path—again and again.

That’s the whole point. That’s how we grow.

Maybe the mess isn’t a detour after all.

Maybe it’s the path itself.

I turn the mirror to you… 

What part of you is quietly asking to be remembered?

Can you listen without rushing to fix, achieve, or judge?

Can you accept where you are right now, even if it feels unclear?

✨ Affirmation

I let go of the pressure to have it all figured out.

I give myself permission to explore, to shift, to evolve.

My soul already knows the way. I trust the remembering.

✨ With Much Love - Elisa ✨